What's with the horse and all the metal?

So, over the past several weeks I have seen this meme on Facebook that has bothered me a little about Disney's movie Frozen. The meme says something along the lines of, "Frozen, the first Disney movie to teach that a princess doesn't need a prince to save her." (Now, before all you fervent frozen fans give me the cold shoulder, let me tell you that I like the movie. In fact, my kids watch frozen movie clips on the Roku almost every day, they ask me to sing "Let it go" at night before going to bed, and my 4 year old knows most of the words to the songs.) Back to the meme. First of all, whoever made it must not have seen Mulan, who actually saved the prince, TWICE, and her group of soldiers, and the emperor, and China. So...

Second of all, I'm not sure I understand the rancor that people feel towards princes and the whole saving the princess thing. I grew up watching Disney movies. I watched those princes save the princesses over and over again. I never remember thinking that because they needed saving that it meant the princesses were somehow weak, helpless, or inferior in some way. On the contrary, I always held the princesses in high esteem, because they were always the moral champions. Even when oppressed, hurt, and held captive by evil queens, step mothers, or other nefarious characters, they never let their suffering make them full of hatred, vengeance, or selfishness. Rather, kindness, gentleness, and an unyielding commitment to do the right thing were always their hallmark. So, for me, I never felt like the image of the prince saving the princess was meant to teach the princesses of the world something. Instead, I felt like it was meant to teach the princes something.

Image from www.huffingtonpost.com

Men and boys have always needed heroes to look up to and follow. Whether it was the white knight, Superman, the Magnificent Seven, or someone else, boys have dreamed of riding with the good guy in the story to stand against evil and bravely come to the rescue. Boys need to feel needed as much as girls do, though in different ways. They need to feel like they are someone's hero; like they are admired. Boys need to feel that if they weren't there trying to save the day, bad things would certainly happen. This is why guys, when their mom, sister, girlfriend, or wife talks to them about a problem they are facing, they run off to get the tool box to fix it, instead of just listening and being sympathetic. It's not because we think that the girl can't solve the problem on her own or that we don't care about how they feel, but because we innately want to be admired as the hero. We can't help it. It's hard wired into us.

Because it is part of our nature, sad things often happen when princes feel like their services as a hero are not needed, or even not wanted. Some will stop bothering to exhibit the characteristics of a prince. If a superhero is not needed why bother putting on the cape and all the spandex? Most of the time they will seek for that need to be met in other ways. They may try to be admired by the wrong group of people by engaging in behavior that they otherwise would not have done. They may turn to the virtual world to try to fulfill that need, either through gaming or pornography. They may be tempted to look to another woman who he feels may admire him as the hero he wants to be. Its like in the Disney/Pixar movie The Incredibles, since we're talking about Disney movies, when Mr. Incredible finds himself as "a super" living in a world that no longer wants to have supers around. The society is angry at them for their mistakes and feels that their work as supers is no longer needed. Slowly the need to be a hero boils up inside Mr. Incredible, until he starts sneaking out to listen to police scanners and moonlighting on his family to do work as a super for someone who sees him as a super and who expects him to be one. Unfortunately, this happens all the time to princes today, in one way or another. Their moonlighting may take different forms, but its the same story.

So, I think that the image of the white knight riding in to save the day is intended more for the princes of the world than it is the princesses. It is a reminder that behaving like a prince is still needed. It reminds them that the princesses of the world are something to strive to be worthy of, so that when the time comes that you are called to fight a dragon for them, you'll be ready. I see this in young men and adults alike. If they don't feel admired or needed as a hero, they stop behaving like one. So, for the sake of all of the princes out there, help them to feel that you still need them to come to the rescue. Help them to see that a white horse and armor suits them well. Help them know that the princesses of the world will forever hope to see them on the horizon.